Well, my two weeks of taking time off of work to spend time with my new son and my wonderful wife had come to an end, It was time for me to go back to work (ewwww, right?!). I knew that it was going to be yet another adjustment getting back to work. Especially getting up in the morning and having to work like 8 hours. Man, on Sunday night I got everything ready. I mean everything! I put all my clothes in the bathroom so I wouldn't have to do anything but jump in the show and go. Hell, I even set the coffee pot to brew automatically and that way it would be done before I even woke up. I'm telling you, I tried to cover all of the bases that I could think of.
It must have worked. Monday morning wasn't as terrible as I expected. It went through without a hitch. Sure, I was got a bit more tired after lunch time, and I didn't want to work all that much, but I survived it. It's not going to be so tough after all, right?! Ha! Not so...the following (in quotes) was something I typed up on Tuesday morning sometime....
"It was so tough coming back to work yesterday, but it seemed to be much more worse today. I had every intention on going home last night and spending some time with the baby, and then maybe getting on the guitar for a little while. Needless to say, it didn't happen. At this point, it seems that there isn't going to be enough time for me to do what I want, you know?! It's like for real this time. You know, like...after the two weeks off of work, it was like I got into the routine of things, and then I have to come back to work. It threw everything off for me. Not to mention how tired I was last night and this morning. It was like I had virtually no energy at all when I woke up. No joke!! I know that I will get into a new routine again in a couple of days, it is just that the initial feeling is just overwhelming. It was like that the first couple of nights with the newborn, but it just seemed to come back all over again. I hope it doesn't sound like I am freaking out or anything...because I am not, I just wanted to share my feelings for this for some reason...it just takes some really getting used to, you know!? The exercise and playing the guitar thing is going to be hard to squeeze into a schedule. It's just tough getting adjusted, period.
I fully had every intention to exercise, starting yesterday, but man, it is hard to. I mean, in the morning you want to sleep as long as you can, you know?! And the evening, well...Ruby has been with the baby all day long, so I try to take him off of her hands for a while too...so it is just hard to figure out what to do...I know that it will all fall into place eventually, but for now...I struggle..."
Shit...it is still a struggle...I am tired, for sure, but in a strange way after saying all of that...it is getting easier. It's probably more like me getting used to it than getting easier, but it just seems easier. Things continue to constantly change. Little Nicky's hunger is certainly growing, so we have to gauge that and figure out just how much to feed him. He also is starting with the cry once I am put down routine. That isn't making things easier, but we just have to figure out how to live with that and we will be good. I am sure once we get all that down, there is going to be a new challenge. I just know it.
Do I feel like a father yet? Don't know...not really? Maybe once he gets a bit older I will. I mean, I know that I take care of him, but I don't know. It's really cool to see him more alert now. The times when he is up, he just stares and stares. His vision must be getting better too. He seem to follow things now. I can't wait until he starts getting a personality and expresses more emotions. That is going to be really cool. Man the trip is just getting started, isn't it!??! I mean, we are just hitting the tip of the iceberg. Wow...
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