Life is perfectly sad...

(originally written on 9/28/07)

Well, I was able to practice again on the guitar for just a little while last night. It wasn't for very long, but I feel good that I did. I am seriously going to do my best to pick up the guitar when at home and have the free time. I figure even if it is for 30 minutes or whatever. Every little bit, no matter how little, has got to be positive for me. Yeah, yeah, I have said this countless times, and I probably will keep saying it. It's still up to me to keep it up though and actually do it. Sometimes I think that is it a little pathetic that I have to keep saying shit like this, when I never keep it up….but still….

But I really want to keep this thing going and finish the year out really strong. I want to continue to grow and evolve, musically. Consistency is the probably the only way that I can achieve this. There was a time that I thought to myself that I would never have a problem creating pieces. I felt that confident about it. That feeling is all but gone. Need to get that feeling back. At the current moment, or actually a few weeks ago leading up to this, I felt a little lost when trying to create something on the guitar. Trying to force something, just isn't the way to go.

I also want to be more dynamic on the guitar. I think about the only pretty much full track that we do have, "In This Corner", and think that there probably can be more dynamics to it, guitar wise. I don't know how to go about it at this point, but something can probably still be added. I don't know to exactly get started in that. When I think about this, I don't know how to start, or that I have a hard time getting this initiated. It's all part of the process though, and it is half the fun too. It's going to be hard work, but that suits me just fine. I feel that I am limited, skill-wise. I am not a naturally gifted musicial, and I have never taken formal lessons in my life, but I am pretty confident that I can create some catchy and good things. I just have to focus on this and really just work hard at it again. I am sure that I will, I just feel in that mode, or zone again. I mean, I might not be there quite yet, but I want it. I can feel that good things will happen before the end of the year....

more soon!